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Question: In a divorce, what do teens want parents to know about their feelings?
That they want to have a say in it. It's not fair to them that just because they didn't like each other they have to destroy their family. It sucks. They love them. How it affects their lives. A divorce is a selfish decision for their parents to make. They want them to stay together. How much it hurts. Also, it's hard not to wish that they could go back in time and do something to try to prevent it. Most kids just want to be left alone. I don't know, my parents are together and I don't believe in divorce. It hurts. You feel bad. It feels like your world is crashing down. That they are lost and hurting and want to know their parents love them and that it's not their fault. They want to know its not their fault, and why they are getting divorced. I want them to know that it hurts. That is it not easy for us at all. Seeing parents divorced or growing up without mom and dad living together makes our whole view of life different. We become more independent and strong. Marriage and kids are not such a positive thing anymore.
They love them. That it's not easy, even though I don't have divorce I can still picture how it must feel. They must feel like crying and screaming. That they don't want the divorce. That they feel very sad and they want their parents to get back together. I've known for a long time because my grandma and grandpa are divorced. Parents should constantly keep kids aware of what's going on because otherwise children feel neglected and disrespected. Kids also want their parents to know that -- simply -- they (we) can handle the truth of the situation. We hold onto our feelings of sadness and remorse throughout our lives. We wonder the cause of the break, and worry about our own future family. They will always love them no matter what and they aren't taking sides. They are sad and lonely. How it has affected them. Well, having 5 of my friends with divorced parents, they all tell me that they hate that the parents never communicate with each other. That the divorce was not their fault. Probably how they feel about the situation and if it's the right choice. It hurts like hell, and it makes you think that all marriages suck. That it's not their fault. They want to let them know how they feel. Sometimes it breaks them apart but other times they're okay with it since they realize that it's better for both parents if they just get a divorce. That not only are they being affected but so is everyone else around you. We are going through too much to handle and we really need an open relationship and to talk. We are also kinda mad at you. They want them to stay together and they're unhappy.
They want parents to know that they don't want to feel like their parents are competing for them (trying to either fight for custody or just who gives the best presents). That they are saddened that they cannot have peace in their household, especially because generally there is nothing they can do to help the situation. I don't know, my parents have never split. I think though that it's that they resent them for not being able to keep it together, that they're weak and the kids need them to be strong... That the parents had enough love to create them, so they should have enough dedication to one another not to hurt the children. Sometimes, they might feel responsible. They feel helpless and feel stuck in the middle. Mom tries to convince you that Dad is a bad person, and Dad tries to convince you that Mom is the one in the wrong. That just because they are divorced, doesn't mean that they should complain about each other to their kids because it makes them all confused on what's real and what's a lie. They pretty much want their parents to know how hard it is for them to imagine a world where they're not together. It's important for parents to know how unfair it seems to children even if it isn't. We hate when you fight. In a divorce parents want kids to know that it is not the kid's fault but that they just don't love each other anymore. They want their kids to understand that they are sensitive too and should not be dissed on. They are disappointed, and their lives will forever change. Deep inside they wish for normalcy, and they know they may never have it. They just want them to know what's going on in their heads. We hate when you fight and drag us into it. That they don't like it, one bit of it. Why the things that are happening are happening, and what's going to happen to their parents. That their feelings are hurt.
They want them to know what they are feeling or at least try to understand, but kids don't want to voice these feelings necessarily. Most kids want their parents to think about them, but in getting divorced they are doing the opposite. That they don't like seeing them apart. That it's never your child's fault and they should never use it as a threat! That no matter what, they can't change my mind about the other.
How they really feel and why it hurts so bad. If they were the ones to cause it and why they have to break up ... That we also figure in this ... We should be able to choose when or if we want to see the other parent after the divorce. Kids want parents to tell them that it's the parent's fault, not the kids. That they want them to stay together and not separate. Kids want their parents to know what they are feeling about it. It depends whether or not the kid(s) were in favor of the divorce or not. No one can ever be perfect for you. Its a lie. So, for the sake of your offspring, stay together, for goodness sake! They wanted them to know how it's affecting them. That it is fine that everything is not working out for them but for the kids sake get along, at least in front of the kid! That they are going through pain just like them and they are feeling the same things.
How they really feel. They want to talk. They wish things could go back to the way they were. The kids are more affected than even they realize. They need to know it's not their fault. That they are hurt and saddened by their divorce. Who they feel should get custody, or that we love them both equally. That it didn't work out and it is for the best. Kids want to make it clear that they love both parents very dearly, and that they are grateful to have them. That they actually have feelings and that a divorce really hurts them. Most want their parents to stay together but some just have to pick sides. It might be hard on you but it is also harder on the kid as well. That it's not their fault. You also need to allow them to realize that things will be different, but will be ok. They want them to know how much is put onto their shoulders.
That they have a say. How they feel about them splitting up. That they are upset and affected by the decision even though they most likely had nothing to do with it. How it's affecting their life and how upsetting it is. That they should realize the the divorce affects more than themselves, and that they should always put their child's best interest first. They want the best for you. It hurts them. In a divorce, kids want parents to know that they are put under a tremendous amount of stress from going back and forth to houses. Sometimes they have to even move to another state and start a new life, school and make new friends. They want them to know that they feel their parents should stay together, but they feel that they have no control over their parents' decision. In most cases, the child feels they are to blame for the separation. It is important to assure them that this is not true, and that both parents still and always will love the child. Whose house they prefer staying at. That we hate divorce, that they don't understand how we feel, that it makes us question whether we can ever be happy with someone, that we hate being pushed to the side and seen as a 'complication' and that we do appreciate two birthdays, however. Kids want all parents to know how they feel about the divorce, and the parents should always listen. Kids want parents to know how they feel about the divorce and how they do not want them to break up and for the parents to understand their feelings. We have feelings. My friends who are hurting from their parents divorce wish their parents would know just that. That they too are hurting from the divorce. Not just their parents. Not to assume that the kids are angry. We sometimes act angry when we are really sad. They want to know that if it is the kid's fault that the parents are separating. They also want to know if everything will be ok. Kids want to know the reasons why it's happening. Sometimes a list of reasons can show the parents that maybe they can work around the problems they face. It also helps the kids to know why, which is often an important question in their head. Still love them both.
They want to express their depression about this. I believe kids want their parents to know that they still love them both, and that they wished that things had worked out better, but understand that they happened the way they happened. It's hard on our lives at school and in social places, not just our homes. Also it's hard if one parent wants it and the other parent doesn't. That they feel bad like it was their own fault and they want their parents back together again. If they approve or not, if they are feeling depressed, angry. We hate it.
That they aren't happy. How they feel about the situation and if they're ok. I guess that they just want to be understood because sometimes they feel responsible for the parents split up and they just want people to know. It's hard for us and you have to be patient and understand and don't rag on us so much. They don't want to talk about their feelings. That they want their parents back together. Really badly. They don't understand why it was like that. Sometimes even blame themselves and think they can help put their parents back together. To keep it away from them. They feel like things will not be the same ever again. That they are sad and hurt. Personally I'd want them to know that I'm hurting. And you couldn't even try and work it out? I want them to know that I still love both of them but I'm not gonna like anyone else that comes into my life. To respect them and not fight in front of them. They matter, too. Kids take divorces so hard and they cause depression, bad grades, turning to drugs etc. that it almost seems selfish for parents to get divorced. That it's not their fault. And that there will always be the chance of getting back together. How they feel about their parents getting a divorce. That they are sad and feel dejected. That even though they may feel alone, they - even though they are only their kids - have their children to talk to. Well that we should be taken into account. My parents are still together ... I dont know. Maybe their kids want their parents to know that their parents suck balls for getting divorced. It's not about the parents ... That they are devastated, it seems as though their life is over. They need comfort and reassurance.
How they feel. It's not all about them, we're affected too. That they are hard to understand and confusing sometimes and also that we just want to feel loved. Kids want parents to know that they are hurting and feel bad that their parents can't make it work. We feel insecure because you did love each other, but fell out of love, will you do that with us? They are probably upset and they want to tell their parents that but it won't go through only one ear and out the other. That you want them to be together because you love them. Kids would like parents to know and pay attention to their feelings, and to act like it is worth something and their respect. They are torn and don't want to hurt either parent yet at the same point they want a standing in who lives with who. That it would hurt them if their parents divorce. They want their parents to do whatever they can to save their relationship, but also that they need to be happy. I was too young to remember the divorce clearly, but I would think kids would want their parents to know that we are not something to push and pull here and there. The constant tug-of-war is enough to stress out even the most carefree child. That they want love. The hardest part is when the parents fight, stability is important. If there is a divorce going on, I want to know that it's happening. I don't want to have to speculate and guess at what's going on, it makes it even harder on the child. It depends on how old the child is and what the circumstances are. It all depends on the kid. Want to know the whole truth on why they separated, not it's all his/her fault all the time. That it hurts and affects them too. That they should go **** off because thay suck *** for getting divorced. Kids want parents to not know how much it hurts them. Kids want both parents to know that they don't want to be left out of their lives. They want to spend time with both parents. Kids should tell their parents how the divorce is affecting their lives and how they want to spend time with each parent. We know we're not the reason, but we like it to be reassured. They want heir parents to know that they need both their parents for different things to help them become successful in life. How mixed up they are and how much support they need for this life changing instance. That they feel responsible. That it is stupid to get divorced. Just get God and he'll help.
How it affects them. They want to know that they are taking it probably harder than both of the parents and that they feel like its partially their fault. I would want my parents to stop arguing in front of me. If they do argue, I also want them to know that I want them to love each other. So, if they argue, I want them to try and make up later.